It’s been a while since I’ve posted. I could make up some lame excuses about how “the back to school schedules of Max and Sam and all their activities has really put a crimp on my time…” but that would be a load of crap.
Part of the blogging experience for me is to help me hold myself accountable. I have not been working out as much. True, the back to school/new schedule thing is part of it. But there is something more. Something a lot of people are simply afraid to admit. Something I’ve been avoiding and am hoping that spilling it out here will help.
I’m scared.
There! I said it.
Several weeks back I was reading the Kalamazoo Gazette, from the comfort of my bed, on my EVO using the MLive application. I had read a sad story about the ending of a 5K race held over at the Celery Flats area in Portage. A 42 year old man collapsed after completing the “Peacock Strut” and shortly thereafter passed away. I had not initially recognized the name. He was a resident of the nearby community of Scots, so I didn’t think that Kimm or I would know him from school. Still I was going to mention it to her because she knows so many people that work with her at Stryker.
Then I saw his picture.
I went cold.
Shawn Brown….the pieces came together.
Shawn had a daughter, Brady that played co-ed soccer with my son Sam last spring. I met him probably a couple dozen times watching games out at the county park and at the practices held at the Kingdom Soccer Complex. Practices can be pretty boring, so finding a kindred soul to talk to helps the time pass. Shawn and I would sit and chat. He was a large gregarious man standing several inches taller than my 6’2” frame. He had short cropped hair that had more salt than pepper in it. He was an ex-football player from Olivet College. Most importantly, he was a doting father who loved his two kids. I liked the guy immediately. We may not have been “peas from the same pod”, but we were definitely of the same crop.
We’d chat about the kids, sports, and football. I told him rugby stories. He wished he was younger so he could give it a try. He would have been a hell of a second row. Every now and then his voice would boom “Brady!” to make sure his daughter’s head was where it needed to be. He always had one eye on the field and specifically on his kid.
And suddenly, inexplicably, Shawn’s gone. There’s one less parent on the sideline. One less Dad. One less husband.
This is a tragedy for the family that I don’t want to begin to try to fathom and my heart goes out to them.
The other thing my mind can’t let go of is that “a large gregarious man”, “short cropped hair that had more salt than pepper”, “an ex-football player”, and “a doting father who loved his two kids” are all statements that someone may very well use to describe...me. In a way, I felt I was reading my own obituary. I have never felt so mortal.
So, for the past few weeks, I’ve been in a mental state of “lock down”.
Having thought it through, I know that you can’t go through life afraid. You can’t be afraid to ride the bus because someone got mugged. You can’t be afraid to eat cantaloupe because there was a listeria outbreak.
And…you can’t be afraid to go out and exercise just because someone you know passed away while doing so.
You have to go on living.
Tonight, I will put on my shoes, go out and exercise and work out in order to improve myself. I will go out and LIVE LIFE…because…well…it’s the only game we get and like any other sport I’ve played :
You stay in the game and do your best until the coach takes you out.
